It feels so nice to think about other stuff besides my studies for a while even though it just for a day or so. To think of food, people or love!

Oh how wonderful! To imagine things going beyond what it is right now, to see the future in your own way. So exciting so my style!

Wee~

I feel so depressed. They just suddenly came and flooded me. Maybe its due to other reasons too. But depressed also not until its suicidal. i feel like laughing now. see me go crazy. heeeeheee heee. I felt so irritated just now. I really hate so much when some one do something i don’t like to me when i am so pissed. argh! maybe that is why i have a tendancy to be violent this days. Its all due to bad people. bad bad people. I hate u. die. die. die. i actually wanted to write a post about how i wish to treat people nicely these days because recently, i am not myself you see. i am not the happy go lucky char. I am a depressed char. potraying an ugly side of her, but she just don’t give a damn because she is unhappy. and people make her even unhappier. she just wanna crawl into a hole again and hide so that all these evil feelings could just go away like how a tornado would just suddenly disappear. she feels so lost recently, she lost herself, her believes too. she is just simply lost. she is a wondering girl, ever so blur always think that people have evil thoughts. Don’t you think its true. The world is full of bad people, people who tries to take advantage of you, just like that day we nearly got cheated by a young boy. even good people turn bad. i dunno whats happening to me!!I dunno i dunno i dunno i dunno. sigh. All i need to do now is release my energy in a good way. i haven’t been sweating recently maybe that is why. so sanfu. I wish i can cry, but i can’t cry. i don’t have much tears. my heart is so hard, i need acid to make it create some tears for me to flow. flow like the water down the stream, so relaxing.so hard to actually write what i really wanna write here. this is a disaster. i need a doraemon to tolong me. I never want to see the word HELP anymore. brings sad memories. shoot HELP. *bang* _ELP *bang* __LP *bang bang* ____ die die die!

I wish upon a star to be myself once again when life was full of life and rainbows and chocolate trees. When birds were chirpin and clouds were blue and no bad news in this world. When life of the people were happier once again, when i was myself, a princess.

haha!

I am going through a period of stress and my stupid cough is back. It is my stress induced cough. i realised ever since last year, everytime my exams are near i will get this three months duration of coughing and my best friend is fisherman’s friend. Ate until i felt like vomiting. to think of the taste and just the smell of it, makes me feel like puking.

Argh!! everyday i keep thinking about my studies, am i going to die with it? this term break i also didn’t really get real rest. I am either studying something i don’t understand which made me used up a lot of my energy due to frustration or i am either outside doing stuff. I feel so tired. i can’t imagine myself sitting for those exams right now.

I just hope my stress level won’t reach critical level. It is not worth it dying for my books. i hate my books. trying hard to breathe, trying hard to forget about stress and be happy and smile and be char like how char used to be. tired.

no mood wanna talk adi. just wanna be myself and be happy.

tired.