With my legs so ugly already, no more skirts or shorts for the moment! My jelly fish scar still stays on my left feet. I don’t think it will leave me any time soon.
Meanwhile more blue black on my knee and my right feet. Patches here and there. haha. Look so .. patchy.
Gaining more blue blacks every week. So memorable. Love my life.

I am so addicted to this old song! So nice! Ella rocks! It is like what i need right now!

lalallala..

Pahit getir hidup… dan pengorbanan
Terpaksa dihadapi, demi kejayaan
Terdidik sejak mula, tabah berusaha
Tanpa cuba melangkah, tak kemana
Di mana kau berada
Pencapaian tak tiba dengan mudah

Kini "Standing In The Eyes Of The World"
Hanyalah selangkah dari nyata
Keazaman membara dijiwa
Menanti saat bebas merdeka
Tiba masa kau melangkah gagah
Bersemangat ke arah matlamat sedaya upaya
Engkau terunggul
Wajar "Standing In The Eyes Of The World"

Harapan yang pernah terkulai layu
Kembali segar mekar bawah bayanganmu
Setiap manusia ingin berjaya
Namun tak semua miliki tuah
Engkau menghampirinya
Kesempatan telah pun tiba…

Kini standing in the eyes of the world
Hanyalah selangkah dari nyata
Keazaman membara di jiwa
Menanti saat bebas merdeka
Tiba masa kau melangkah gagah
Bersemangat ke arah matlamat sedaya upaya..
Engkau terunggul
Wajar standing in the eyes of the world…

This song is telling me to go for it. I will go for it.

Today physics test was a blast because i don’t think i will fail! but if i fail then..then.. i tried my best.. but still.. sad.

Anyway dee and me let go of our chance to play badminton with our beloved friends who treat us like their family. We choose the TKD boys than them. They were sad, especially Zhiwei. But with our love, she was healed not too long after that. So we went TKD instead of badminton.

Anyway today TKD was super fun! I always wanted to learn practical things, like people touch you, hold you, grab you, kiss you, rape you, what should you do? Well, i know what to do! So fun! But i pity my TKD president, he was raped by our instructor and Kirill. I think he is traumatized. Seriously.

Then there was a little sparring, first time i get to fight with a guy! it was super fun! usually my partner is dee, and we can read each other mind, we know our strategies, we are so predictable to one another, sparring with her, both of us don’t benefit much! But spar with a guy, Chit Yuen, so fun! I wanna do it again! But he gave me chance..

Such a memorable day..

It will be tomorrow! I am so scared…
Physics is my weakest subject.. I am so scared!

Aku tension tension.
tension sangat sangat.
tapi tak tau kenapa.
Aku sudah gila.

I feel so tired! Ngo chen hai hou hou gui ah! test test test.. in my head all i ever think now is test test test and it is only mock! these stupid test are like pest. I feel so tired. I feel so sleepy. If i’m not studying, i’ll be sleeping or watching tv..

But every time i wake up, i have to force my self to study. It is not voluntary thing but a forcing thing already. Some times it just feel so stupid. Make me feel stupid too because i feel it’s stupid. And it is bad. I am so not enjoying it. I can’t wait for this weekend to come. I will be seeing my bowling friends again. Well i hope they will come. Seeing them is such a nice feeling. What more can i ask for after a tiring week.

I think I am getting small migraines too. And i don’t know why was i shaking while i was studying just now. Imagine that. Even my body is telling me not to study. It is scaring my body that i shake while i study! ok it is just some nonsense about my body being scared.

And it is boring. Studying like this is boring. Besides that, I don’t understand why? Why is it that people get so upset over their mock exam marks. Why? I feel happy with what i get. I smile. I fail also i smile but its a little different smile. hahaha. Learning new things is so fun! But studying it into such details is horrible. We don’t need to know so much to survive. Like what people say ignorant is a bliss. Cuddling char char is a bliss too. So when you see me, please hug me. I need hugs to survive.

It was so hot, that room. At first we studies like good student but then study for 2 hours right after practical is just crazy, so we played!

We played Mafia, because there were many people, so it was one of a choice. But none of our friends wanted to play except zhiwei, dee and me, so had to call zhulian to call his buddies.

While playing i did something embarrassing, I wanted to say this guy was the mafia because he was so quiet, but instead of saying quite, i didn’t know why but i kept saying cute. like " it’s him! because he is cute! he is cute!"

I think no one heard la, except the guy i was accusing. I didn’t know why i couldn’t control what i was saying. Quiet and cute. Sigh. Then he look at me weirdly. hahaha.

Maybe it is just an excuse, but ever since yesterday i saw the dead body on Jalan Kuching while on our way to Bukit Gasing, I feel.. sad. It was still, early in the morning, about 7am, when a life of a person has reached its end. Some his family member will receive a phone call about his death.

Then I feel that my mom can’t really connect with us, too stress over her work and get so easily irritated by people. Making her screaming and shouting at home, cause me to just feel like hiding myself in a hole.

I sometimes hate being a human, like for this instance, because humans have feelings, deep feelings especially  when they miss a place, or a person or an event, and its nearly december.

I love my friends and i get really down when there is a slight change in it, I’m just sensitive. It’s bad, I use feelings more than my brain and logic  just because i believe that, it is all about feelings and never logic. Because logic is based on feelings if you didn’t realise.

This post make me feel even worse. I have too much negative energy, i need to discard them.

if she really loves me. But she is a cat, so i don’t really know. But i don’t know why do i want to know. Not like it will make any difference how i will treat her from then on.

When she is hungry, she knows how to open the mosquito net and climb the stairs and come to my room door and start meowing. Why choose my door but not my brother’s door?

That day brother found her sleeping on our bed. Why? is it because of my smell? I hug her too much?

That day after my climb to Klang Gate Ridge, i sat beside dee and sleep, and kitty sat beside me and lick. usually she don’t sit beside me. But maybe she misses me? I thoguth she has no feelings.

Is it true that love is a universal language where all organism can understand?

I just don’t want to see her die. If she wants to die, go die far far away from me. I don’t think i can stand seeing her dead body.