My birthday is coming soon. I am turning 18 soon. But I don’t look 18 at all. I look 12. OK OK 14. with my new hair style, 12 again. so cool. I look 6 years younger than i should be.

When i turn 18, the first thing Dee and me would do is practicing our rights. We will go the the ‘ I Need House ‘ shop or the wet wet shop or whatever you call it la and say hi to the shop keeper. This time they have no reason to chase us out like they usually do. hehehe. There was once we went in, but the guy chased us out although we said we are 18, my father told him we are 18. just wanna see what they sell ma. i saw they sell sex tool before we got chased away. the condoms you can see from outside so it’s not counted. Anyway i have been in these shop when i was in kindergarten, they didn’t chase us out. Instead they were smiling and laughing at us.

Next watch an above 18 show in the cinema. Sure kena tahan wan we all. but with our IC, just flick it and we are free.

hehehe.

Next stop, Raintree club slot machine room. yay!

Then after that follow my bro where ever he goes to chill out.

Actually nothing much hor. Oh yea not to forget join Standard course in outward bound. coolness.

Ahh.. so peaceful. Sitting here writing my blog. Its early but i cant sleep anymore. I keep thinking about my friend.

Although it is over already, i just feel sad. How can it become so ugly. It’s weird how we were grateful to meet each other. We really enjoyed each other’s company. We had so much fun together!! But we changed as our friendship went on. We changed personality towards each other. Not change for the better but for the worse. Maybe we ask too much from each other. It affected us for a month or two. It ended when we couldn’t stand it anymore and wanted our normal life back. It’s ironic.

Haha! Many of my friends don’t know that i have just cut my hair! It’s really short now. Some of them will have no feelings because it’s none of their business, some will feel sad, and some just will ejek me I don’t look nice : D

It doesn’t really matter because I LIKE IT!! I feel so free now!! In college some say it look nice and some say i look even more childish! (???????)

Anyway, now when i walk with Dee, people don’t look at us anymore most probably its because of my hair. hehe that is what i like. But some times i just get irritated when people ask " why you cut but dee don’t cut? " why must she cut when I cut? why must you cut when i cut? What has she got to do with me? Then people will say " Twins ma! " But before I cut they complain why both of us have the same hair style =.=

Haha what a great way to start a new year. Yea, cut it all…

Hair cutting rocks!!

Not too long ago, I went to the temple with my mom and Dee to pray. We usually go there before Chinese New Year, to pray for good health and good luck for the new year that is coming.

Anyway, this year Dee and me had to pray to the Tai Sui Ye and do the Chuen Kok Wan because it won’t be a good year for us, so by doing this, people believe that we won’t have a very bad year la.

I just find that why must it be so complicating actually. Why can’t we just go to the temple and kneel in front of your god that you wish to pray, and just pray? Why the need to burn this and burn that, and do this and do that? I won’t say i don’t believe it but it looks fake. And all these needs money you know. You want this you pay. You want that you pay. All in cost more than Rm 50. Who would ever thought praying needs money. If you don’t do the ceremony right, you most probably will get scolded by the ‘temple’s assistant’ .

I always thought connecting to God is very simple. Actually it’s simple. Just that people add their tradition into it making it so complicating. Maybe that is why the new generation don’t seem to continue what their ancestors do, because it is complicating. So complicating until when you pray in the temple, there will be some one instructing you what to do and what to do next. I mean, got such thing meh?

But one thing which i saw on that day made me feel content. These complicating ceremony unites family members. I saw a family there that day, parents with 2 of their children around 20 years old, praying together. I don’t see that anymore as in elderly parent go to the temple with their grown up children who usually leave their family after they have reached 20 years old. 

It seems to be repeating over and over again and it’s nobody’s fault. I have an evil inside of me which i wish to kill. I want to kill it because it’s killing me. Torturing me mentally. I always dream my self holding a gun shooting people. I dream of shooting everyone in the world and in the end shoot myself. Of course it’s just a dream. maybe there is a reason why i dream of shooting people. Surroundings affects your behavior. So if you think that your behavior is bad, and you don’t like it, you wish to destroy it. Destroy the source of it. So in the end  you destroy your surroundings which are people around us because you believe by doing that you will kill your bad surroundings.

Don’t worry I won’t kill myself or kill anyone. It’s just some weird thinking of mine which i like to share with people. maybe you have the same opinion as mine too.

Aww.. I can’t see!! I don’t have my spec with me for these three days until Wednesday, so I can’t go online or watch TV or see people. I can only read smses,story books, listen to the radio and studying is a torture without my specs!!! I sent it to go change lenses. i can shoot rays from  it next time when i get it back because it will be more powerful than it used to be. I don’t wear my contacts at home, its just too cosmeticky and i feel uncomfortable with it at home but its different out side. Anyway i borrowed Dee’s specs to write my blog and she is now partially blind : D

Anyway, just now while spending time with my radio listening to MIX FM because i can’t go online or watch tv, Serena C’s ex boyfriend called the station and some one recorded the call. I don’t know if anyone of you heard it. They played the call on air. He said he wanted to call Serena but he can’t get her. he thought maybe she offed her phone. He wants to tell her that he really wants her back. It’s sweet. Once in a while Serena will talk about her ex on air, about how chicken he was to call for a breakup so she in the end did it. You can actually hear his desperation from the call. Hmmm reminds me of some one whom I know. very sweet too. Anyway the call touched me. And valentine’s day is coming. What a coincidence. Tomorrow he will call her on air during the breakfast show or something like that from 6 to 10am. haha i hope he will call from 7 to 8am then i can hear too. yea i know i very kepoh.

Well, I hope people who are in love now, i hope that their love shall last for ever and those finding for their ‘true love’ , may your dreams come true.. ( too bad i don’t believe in true love )

Valentine’s day is coming. I feel very plain. No lovey dovey at all. Plain. Every night I would listen to songs, mostly classical and English opera song just to cetuskan some spark in me. Cannot work. Very bored instead. The songs make me numb.

Then yesterday i went to the book store. I told dee we should buy a novel about romance to create ‘the’ atmosphere this month. She told me to choose the book which shows the most skin because that one paling ‘chee kick’ hahaha. But i didn’t buy in the end. Don’t want to dirty my mind.

hahaha I feel very funny these days. I keep laughing at myself for nothing. Like a mad girl only. A girl in her own world… hahaha

My father always ask me what car i wish to have after i get my driving license. I have no clue what car do i want because i just see cars as cars. Get it? Just get me a car which can take me to anywhere enough already.

But just now, I found it. It will be my dream car. It is the cutest thing i have ever seen. Its a tow truck. I find it very cute because the driver seat there is small, suit for my small bum. Then at the back there got the car puller and spare tire. I find it very cool, especially if its a brand new tow truck. It look so petite, suit my physical appearances and its has this cuteness just like me : P

hahaha! If Lydia can have a yellow submarine, I can have a red tow truck!! But I don’t think my Dada will buy a towtow for me.

Left right after my Friday classes straight to SP for the Kedah leg junior circuit. It was a long journey but still, i enjoyed it. Didn’t see much during the journey, but SP is really nice. Gives me a homey feeling in a way I don’t know why.

Anyway bowling, i did well the first round and manage to qualify to the 2nd round. Manage to hit 3 games of 200 plus including a 230. I’m happy i can hit high games now, last time i can’t, all i could do was just consistently hitting scores. Although i can hit high games now, but my consistency drop. So that is my main aim, to have a consistent game. Overall i was 10th in this leg with the average of 177. i believe i can do better next leg because CHAR CHAR CAN!! And now lesser pressure already because i am not under KL anymore. I bowl for myself and my family. No matching collared shirt to where with Dee, so we wore our OBS collared shirt instead. We looked like we were under some association . OBS= Outstanding Bowling School that is.haha.

So because i didn’t manage to qualify for the round robin the next day, which was the last day, so my family and i went looking for Kelvin’s house ( my pen pal ). It was an interesting journey hahaha. He is good at telling people where to go without a map. But I didn’t get to see him.

Then we went to Lembah Bujang!! Ever since I learned about the Malaysians history I have always dream of going to lembahbujang to see all the candi candi. My mother and father pronouns it as " candy " though. haha. And also, many people have been to Melaka, Johor and so on to see historical sites, but not many have been here before. It’s not popular at all. We only saw a couple there.

The candi was so.. its wasn’t BIG, but not small. It is looks nicer there than in the text books. Gives you a feeling. A feeling more original than the feeling you get when you visit Mahsuri’s tomb or the A’ Famosa. Those place are too … fake in a way already. But to some people Lembah Bujang might be boring, but I like. Nice. Satisfying.

This circuit trip was nicer than other circuit leg because get to do different things than what we usually do which will be hanging out in the bowling alley the whole day for the whole 3 days there. It was quite a meaningful trip. Hope to go back to SP in the future. If only I don’t have classes the next day, i really want to explore like Dora The Explorer =P