I am like a cold blooded snake. When you touch me, you feel cold. But i like warmth like the snake do because it keeps us alive. An environment too cold or too hot can kill us. I can kill you with my ‘ strength ‘ and I can tame you with my beautiful scales. Sometimes I’m cunning but sometimes I’m loving like a mother snake . I am unpredictable in nature and I can strike people while they are off guard. But sometimes i strike people without me knowing it.
Snake don’t live in a group, they live alone.
I don’t like snakes. I don’t want to be a snake.

I feel… lost. I use to have a dream, my one and only ambition, but the fire is fading because of some reason. This dream of mine was ( and i hope its still is and will always be ) the reason for me to live.

Actually, I want to take up the environment management course overseas after i finish my A Levels, but there are so many things that are stopping me from doing so. But the thing is, that is the only course that I am interested in.

If I take other alternative, I don’t know which to take and i don’t see the meaning in taking them ( what is the use of taking something that I feel meaningless in life? ). Money is stopping me and people tell me to think twice or even more if i want to take that course. They say i won’t go anywhere with it. It’s true, i won’t go anyWHERE they want to go, but it will lead me to somewhere i want to be.

But like i have wrote up there, my interest in it is slowly ( actually quite fast ) fading. While its fading, I feel lost, because my one and only goal in life is vanishing..

So should I stick to it and fight the odds doing what i think is right or just follow the ‘right’ people advise?

I feel sad whenever i see my classmates telling their teacher they with high enthusiasm that they want to be a doctor or an engineer or a lawyer or a gardener because they believe they can achieve it meanwhile I don’t believe that i can achieve it. It seems impossible.