Some times i just feel like i can’t stand it anymore. For the past almost two months already, we don’t have a maid. So the house is filthy and only Dee and me cleans the house but we can only do that on weekends so we can’t study on weekends except very light ones but we’ll be exhausted by then.My mom is working so she cant help us and she’ll hurt he back anyways. Dad, he just clears the house. Aaron come home late night. Then we have to go tuition. My dad has retired. It’s good but he starts to clear the house as in throw this and throw that which he thinks are ‘rubbish’ so problems started to start. He threw many of my mom things and put away things and so on. So mommy ain’t happy. Dee and me become orang tengah. Mother complain to us, Papa complain to us. Aaron just play games in his room. I just feel like… i feel very emotional these days. A little bit already want to cry or in a way ‘burst’. Everyday i will be telling myself what to study, when to study, boil water, iron clothes, do homework, feed cat ( because in the family only me who feeds the cat, sometimes Dee ), make breakfast and more which i can’t think of right now. But Dee and me do it together. So my head is very tired, school teachers also bugging me. All i want is a peaceful day, but at home.. mother complains, brother irritates me most of the time, father… haih. I hope all these can end soon. My cough even lasted for two months because of this unnecessary stress until have to be on steroids. Actually SPM is not that stressful if i just keep to my schedule but all these are getting too much but i cant do anything because i understand my mothers situation, father’s and brother’s too. I don’t blame anyone. All i can do is tell Dee my feelings and also kelvin. Really.. must it all happen on my SPM year? and everybody keep telling me SPM is so so so important except Edward who says it’s not everything though. I used to be tough but all these are draining me. I just need a break before something bad will happen.

Ian is going back to the States to night and … we will… miss him… time flies.. can only see him next year .. Ben also will be going there so as Eu Eu.. all of them slowly leaving us to further their studies. It’s sad.. It was fun playing with Ian again. Didn’t get the hug dunno who promised but i don’t think it was not from me. Anyways i hope that three of them will reach there safely.. Today ain’t a happy day..