I have attitude problem. Help me.

Just now a male cat peed at a corner of our porch to mark its territory. Dad who was watching it chased it away. Dee told dad that he should have peed on the male to tell the cat that this is HIS territory!! Dad said its a good idea. He said he will keep his urine in a bottle from now on and spray some here and there in our porch to tell that cat it’s some one’s territory.

I cried. My kitten is gone. Our kitten is gone. Yesterday i saw it lying on the road, not moving like it used to. Then the mother cat sat beside the body looking at me (oh my god, i feel like crying again) meowing softly like telling me she’s gone. I went near kitty, gave it a little kick, it didn’t give a reaction like it used to when it was alive. I hold my tears, trying to be as calm as possible in front of my dad, then i saw dee started to cry…then i cried too.How i wish i could turn back the clock, never let the neighbour’s kids play with it. Last time, they took it once and now it will never return. I hate them. Dee and me wanted to name it TungKu some more :’( now no more cute nose and whiskers, no more pink tummy, no more finger nibblin and no more ‘ here kitty kitty kitty ‘ …..

Many people don’t realize that my sis and I have chinophobia. Chinophobia is a phobia, a phobia of Chinese people. We have a phobia towards Chinese. The cause is because we don’t know mandarin. I don’t know what is wrong with Chinese people as specially strangers, when they tell you something, they tend to talk in Cantonese which I can understand and give a reply if I am forced too. But when strangers ask me things, they talk in mandarin. So i have to always say sorry I don’t know Chinese and feel so very the embarrassed and walk away… that is why in school I don’t really mix with other Chinese students or Chinese students who visit our school, afraid they might converse in mandarin while communicating with us and in the end walk away with the horrible embarrassed feeling shown on my face. I don’t like people who ask me why I can’t speak Chinese when they know i have always been studying in the national type school. It’s kind of a stupid question which i rather not answer. I also don’t like people asking me too much about my religion because I don’t really know much about my religion and when I don’t know how to answer them, they will give me this look like as though why you don’t know anything about your religion? They don’t realize that they have Pendidikan Islam in school meanwhile we don’t have Pendidikan Agama Sendiri in our school. People take things for granted. I never take my bed for granted.

This week will be my fourth week going for the intensive tuition course at Kasturi Tuition Centre. Whenever i step into the bio class, i feel funny and whenever i think of the incident i want to laugh because it was so stupid. Well, the first class i went was the biology class. We came late so we get to sit at the back of course. While we were waiting for the teacher, i was observing people who were there in the class. All of them look so much older than me. I felt young hahaha. Some times i wonder am i suppose to be a form fiver this year too. Then i saw this guy with spiky hair went to the front of the class. He dressed formal and i was thinking this student must have come from a very good family. Doesn’t look like the ordinary students sitting beside me. Some more he wanted to find a good seat at the front of the class. Good. Good. Then he started saying " ok, hari in kita akan belajar..bla bla bla..". you should have seen my face. I was shocked!! hahaha HE IS OUR BIO TEACHER!!! He really look like one of us until now. I think he recognizes us.

This is the famous Osim iGallop but too bad i don’t need it. Who needs them when they have a strong father with two strong laps and a pair of big hands to protect you. Papa is my Osim iGallop hahahaha. But the real name of this machine is Horsie Horsie. i just sit on his lap, he will kind of just hug me a little bit and i say ’shake!!’ and the ‘iGallop’ will start to shake and this ‘iGallop’ does not need any battery or what so ever. more over this ‘iGallop’ follows me where ever i go!! and and and it moves side to side and up to down. hehehe. I just give food and love to keep it going. But i don’t really use it anymore because i am getting heavier. Papa can shake me for a short while only.

This week has been a happening week. A happy and sad and an exciting week. It has got nothing to do with school. Well, two weeks ago, I made friend with a stray cat. You can find the photo of it in one of my post. Anyway it brought its kitten home last Friday. It is still pregnant though. Maybe there are dead kitties in her tummy but her tummy is SO big. The next few days were fine. I enjoy staring at the kitten and pouring them with love. But then the neighbour’s kids saw them and took it away from me. They ACTUALLY took it home. I bought cat food already some more. I was sad because I treat it nicely for like three days ready to take care of it for the rest of its life and they just took it. But the next day the mother cat brought it back. I was happy again. Hehehe. She knows I love her. I know she is not mine, she is the neighbourhood’s cat but the kitten is mine. No la just joking, just don’t be so cruel and take it from me without my knowing. Anyway when she returned, two male cats were stalking her. They want to ‘screw’ her although she is still pregnant. Two days they have been stalking her. Today only they stopped, and I don’t know why. While she was running away from them the whole two nights and two days, the kitten got no milk to drink. So I feed it with my milk. Hahaha. I fed cow milk la but It didn’t want to drink. It keep crying. So I let it walk around the house then being all alone in the big box. Then today the neighbour’s kid saw the kitty and rang our bell. They say ‘ nak ambil anak kucing’ not ‘nak main dgn anak kucing’ you know but then I let them coz I don’t want to have any conflicts with the neighbours and the cat does not belong to me also, I just jaga it only. But I was quite worried bout it when I saw them holding the kitten by the neck like the neck will break anytime. Then I said ‘ dek lepas main tolong pulangkan’ they looked at me with a kind of face. Then an hour later while we were n our room, we heard the kitty cry loudly and sharply. The mother cat brought it into the house. I think they tortured it. My poor little kitty…

Narbatha and I feel very angry with our chemistry teacher. She always tahan us from eating our lunch. It is very bad. Torturing. Filling our head with atomic notes instead of filling our tummy with food. I hate wednesdays.